Scientific Mad Love

So I’ve joined an internet forum/bulletien board thingie.  It doesn’t really ease my need to write, but it does consume that time.  It makes someone happy that I bother to learn about that stuff though.  And since I’m happy that they’re happy…

Kept having to log in to delete a TON of spam comments.  I’ve upgraded twice and installed a plug in to help.  Hopefully I won’t see 100 new emails to greet me the next time I log in to hotmail adviseming me of new comment spam.

All in all, I really like having a boyfriend.  We fit well together.  I had just forgotten how much time it takes up.  (It has been quite a while.)  But who’s counting?

So I knew it had been awhile since I posted, but I had no idea how long.

I’ve been twittering and that satisfies most of the posting urge in 140 characters or less.

I’m thinking posting is better, long term, though. Forces deeper and more thinking. Sort of.

I’ll work on it.

I have been appointed the “official” photographer of the Conveyor Fringe Fest coverage.

I now have way more photos piled up than I could possibly use, even only counting the good ones.

I submitted this one to JPG magazine. Registration is required, but if it somehow gathers enough votes in the couple of days remaining, it could be published.

Thinks this isn’t news to people who really know me:

This one really isn’t either:

I crave adventure and stability.

Put this way, it becomes more clear:

If the email goes unanswered all day, are they away or gone away forever and ever? I know it’s more likely the first, but the second happens with as much fanfare.

I think the plays I saw this weekend affected me.

Bare made me cry. Bug was a little creepy. I’m glad I got to see both of them.

Ben Stein Meets Darwin Statue.

Hilarity ensues.

Thanks Pharyngula!

(To steal his whole post, Darwin has a blog now, too.)

((Another lazy cross post.))

Try as I might, there will always be a rage for Catholicism in my heart.

Pray for the victims - what is that shit? How about reversing the decision leads individual diocese to go bankrupt rather than pay out all the settlement money they owe.

Pray for victims - why yes, that is the least you can do. Any fast talking con-man can make people in pain feel good for a little while.

(LAzy x-post from man-x blog. sorry. ish.)

The Avett Brothers are coming back to Cincinnati (Newport KY, really) May 16!!!!! SWEET.

So much for sleeping tonight.  I will just lie in bed vibrating with pure excitement.  This is the music I listen to when I need something to help me stay sane, to think it will all be ok, for reals, and believe.

I’ve finagled the theme of every mix cd since I’ve heard of them to work in a song.

I could be a little obsessed, but I couldn’t figure out the drive to Chattanooga on a Tuesday night.  So this is great.  Glee.

I read this comic because:

1. It’s funny.

2. I keep finding my life in it.

This is not always helpful when I’m bummed and compulsively hitting the random button as therapy.

Even this was not enough to make me stop:

I am not always the sharpest crayon.

Sometimes, it’s fun to bang your head on the wall because it feels so good to stop. If you remember to.

The Men’s Chorus performance was, for me, revelatory. 

The Chorus is inclusive, but mostly gay.  Social justice is part of the mission, but mostly fun and singing.  They wear tuxes, sound campy.  They are not the greatest in the world, but could be in the top ten for fun.

Earlier in the day, I had seen a tribute to Patricia Corbett, great arts patron of Cincinnati.  It was a mega-line up of beneficiaries and included the May Festival Chorus.  That chorus is serious and top notch.  They sung something from Handel’s Messiah. 

For some reason, although I never met her, I cried through most of it.  I was glad that I was late to the thing and couldn’t take the time to find my friends.  I didn’t want to explain why I was such a train wreck. 

The Men’s Chorus performance included songs from Sweeney Todd, Young Frankenstein and Hairspray.  There was also a number with puppets and a song about old friends. 

I was pretty stressed at that one any moment there was no singing, though, because of who I was with.  A few old friends that I don’t see much anymore, now I think I fully understand why that is.

Leading up to the event, there was wondering about being stood up and on the hook for four tickets.  Then there were the dinner debates; where, when, and why there?

We got through, but I think the strain showed.  The migraine didn’t help.

The conversation kept turning to things I wasn’t involved in, didn’t have any back story on and nothing to contribute to.

We went to a bar after, ran into a mutual friend, and a bunch of my friends were there too.  As I talked to the mutual friend, the chorus friends jetted for a table.  I stopped to say hi to the other friends and then made it to the “chorus” table.

It was still conversation I could barely touch.  But now I could see, but not reach escape.  Painful.  After eight years, the check came but the ordeal wasn’t over.  The true point of the night came.  The friends started making fun of individual chorus performers, despite having the lack of balls to put themselves out there. 

I made an opportunity for myself and went for the bar to get a drink.  Conveniently, I ran into the mutual friend, and started talking, “forgetting” to return.  And then my coat was delivered, they all left and I was free to flit around the bar, amongst other friends and acquaintances. 

I drank a lot.  It was fun. 

What kills a friendship?  There’s no general answer, but having to put the filter back on and not being able to count on plans going through are a start.  Maybe the rest is just drift.  Or irreconcilable differences. 

But I don’t think that I can keep getting frustrated over what used to be, but isn’t anymore.  It’s worse than a hangover. 

The mourning process might be shorter now that I recognize it?  People who used to be my best friends are a little worse than strangers now, more like the mean cousins who need to be avoided. 

No alcohol hangover, but my Sunday was tainted just the same.

So I decided to bake up a little bit allergy safe dessert to take to the family dinner yesterday, along with my dinner and a vegetable side and some totally not safe rolls.

I’ve heard gluten free baking can be an adventure. But instead of actually searching for a real recipe, I just threw the rice flour mix from a cake that’s pretty good into the traditional chocolate chip dough.

These cookies did not turn out well. They needed to bake longer, but a second over and they burned. And I think I’ve seen thicker tortillas.

Don’t take my word for it:

It’s ok, because they taste funny, too. But better than not having anything to eat while everyone else digs in to this amazing looking lemon filled layer cake.